sometimes out of the blue

i have been wanting of that zing...for the past one week i have been deprived of that thing...whats it called???...the will....been too lethargic to even think...to write...today has been the worst i can hardly think....and then out of the blue...like muse is to a poet came my "zing"....it came in the guise of a movie...watched the " life of David Gale"......for those who haven't seen it, it is a movie built around the cause of death penalty...whoever thought one could making a movie out something as boring as ethics...but as it turns out...it was interesting with a suspense that leaves you wondering of the effect certain causes have on people...i am always cynical about too much devotion to a cause....evn if it is as simple as faith....or "poverty reduction" cause i believe at the end of the day....people have short memories and they continue to live in total denial....but i couldn't help wonder whether i had the passion in me to die for a cause...any cause...anything....

If someone dying for death penalty is funny...then think about romeo and juliet...what were they thinking!!! but thats exactly the point i lack the vision, the passion and so does most of us....i am first in line to be cynical about a faith and then complain about absolute boredom in life....about failure in love...about loss of faith in god....when i was old enough to think i was keen to break out of the mold that my parents and the society i lived in cast me in....so throughout college i shed them, broke them, pounded them....now that i am done with rebellion i see i have lost with something of great value...passion...passion of atleast being conservative and religious...theres nothing to ground me now....

So i am hoping like everyone does through their life that i find that one passion....that will strike me like the spirit descending on the virtuous...that will redeem me from this lack of orientation...must happen out of the blue i guess, so no point waiting...

another thing i noticed in course of the movie is the fact that truth can be relative...for all of us well-educated people...truth is often vision...isn't that a little shallow....but often than not truth is based on witness...witnessing is of prime importance to history.....sacrifice is only complete with witnesses...but often we forget to think of the events that precede and follow this period of sight....events takes shape through flux and this vision we have is but a slice of this change...then how can we be so smug as to think we know it all....we judge by immediate action...always ready to pounce on people for what we think they are doing ....but what are they thinking...what is the serial killer thinking when he is hacking someone after raping him/her (presuming that all accept men can be raped)....if he is not thinking then why so? what has happened in his/her life that led to this....if catch your boyfriend cheating on you, how many of us actually think of the circumstances....or the event that preceded this event.....


i guess the reason why people don't search that far is because these kind of reasoning can jeopardise ethics...make people into believing that anything is okay...or worse just confuse people more...there can then be no decisions and judgements....cause everyone in the end has a good reason...one that convince them atleast...so history is written such that...one can ease out a slice of it for our viewing and decide from this slice what course we should follow....ever wondered why politicians fight for contents of history textbooks in school and not for physics texts when ha;f the country's upper class values science and technology??