boredom, i think

One can’t sometimes help wonders how people are so different from one another....there are some who takes life serious like there’s no tomorrow while others watch as bystanders while life passes them...calm never budging, never budging while other bustle around trying to get things right...just right enough....the perfect size they want...and when it happens they rejoice, merry make and party...of course its never complete if it was then people would stop trying right?....there are also those funny kinds who care but don’t care enough to budge and those who don’t care but put up a pretence of care....zillions of such permutations and combinations....its funny just listening to these people....so in a workplace like mine...where people are rated on the basis of their work...you see these traits surfacing...some are just doing a job, some are working for the boss, some for the institution and other for principles.....some are last minute workers, some have started work even before it was given....two ends of a spectrum...and various positioning with this range of options....here i am sitting at probably the most important moment in my six month old career....review time...worried about why i am not worried...worried why i am not serious...i was always the last minute types...but now i get away even without the last minute...maybe i have become overconfident and i am hoping to escape yet another time....i have tipped over the limits of procrastination too....its probably a leniency towards risk from an otherwise non-risk taking person....a love and fear of living on the edge....my dreams have always been risky after all....i always tipped to the risky side but never got there..its one of the varied combinations....so here i am sitting on a revolving chair...waiting for the clock to strike last minute so that the panic bells can begin chiming in my bloody head....

Well its this tipping or leanings that keep me going...i am going to be world traveller someday......i’ll start with India on a shoe string budget...visit Orissa...then Sikkim...Arunachal, Meghalaya. Assam....Bhutan...to make things look real i actually browse through the websites of outlook traveller, travel and living...for job opportunities...or its probably to whet my senses and have nothing to do with risk.....i am very sensual...i get turned on by cookery shows, wine connoisseurs, travel and wildlife photography...cuisines....i hated Anthony Bourdain for a significant period of my college life cause his job was the ultimate for me...cook’s tour...what the f**k...how did he get that job...can you believe travelling around the world trying out different cuisines....smacking one’s lips into the camera...also getting to travel to hotspots around the world...ohhhhh!!! i hate him!...i hate everyone who strives to and actually manage to live on their own terms.....the people who lived like paupers to write what they believed....how do they do that...how am i in wont? Ok clock is ticking close to the hour of panic and here i am discussing The Cook’s Tour...life sucks!!the moral of the story is i am last minute person in a job for just the money...my principles have gone astray...i have no principle...i want to drift into a world of fantasy.....(snooze)