the inward eyes

So it always works best for me to look inward....maybe because i always had the tendency or because i learnt philosophy and fellana-shellana...for the same reason every where i go, everything i do, its about the personal experience, the feeling, the emotion...it added to some redundant function of sensitivity that didn't actually reach out to people but reach out to concepts of people. when i joined work, it was always what am i doing here, how am i doing it...blah, blah...its called i think the antakarana...if i remember right...it lead to (if and only if the self is elimin ated) to Brahman...don't question me on what that is...anyway recently life had become boring with the only thing to do all day long being this stupid inward business...this blog itself is representative of that nature of mine...and i clearly recognise this moment is all about that...but well the future seems to hold much for me ,all of a sudden...and there is no time to look inward...no reflection...just go with the flow...in the long run it might result in a person neither here nor there....but suddenly it feels so relieving not to be able to look inward...no time to do any of that...life has become simpler...i can fit myself into a larger picture...i am not a rock sticking outward in a well aligned cliff...yes iconoclasm must become recessive...seeking for difference and change might slow down...but i think it is a good break. good break from the boredom...from the eternal cringing at the thought of your life trajectory...now its all about everything will fall into place and i like everyone will fit into some graphic design (not the godly types) but some type or the other....so lets toast to the transient freedom in my life.