opportunities

So as i sit in my secret hiding place...away from the revolving chair and ticking heels....i am suddenly struck with a sense of being...of being here and now....the strange paradox of green trees and tall building towering over my head in stark contrast but seemingly conspiring against me becomes clearer....no thats just paranoia....its not conspiring but a lucid gaze....beneath my worn out chappals were hurrying ants and fallen leaves......strangely acclimatised to the red tiles that fashioned the pathway.....here were creatures of a completely different orientation living in a environment completely different from their natural sense of being and maybe against their will....and here i was full of opportunities ...young vibrant.....maybe greying mentally...a lil worn out but still...fulll of opportunities depressing about my life...what was really lacking.....lack of direction....why the need to drink oneself to sullenness...an inability to face life....china dolls of the new generation...full of talk...full of luxuries .....in a hurry to find out the meaning of life....what about the man working next to me...is he going through the same dilemma....of turbidity.....or did he know his limitations well enough not to feel this way....somewhere i realise...yes i want to chase my dreams...but maybe one is soo smug in ones soft nest to realise that people give up dreams for responsibilities...people don’t develop dreams to avoid this state.....or they hide it well in their placid demeanours....can the chai guy tomorrow become a free lance artist.....he can, he should but will he...what about his wife and kids....most of the population recognise their calling in alliance with their responsibilities...then is it the utter lack of respect for my responsibilities that make me depressed in this otherwise comfort zone.......yes one never be too comfortable about anything...but can everybody afford to do that.....maybe all i am is a young brat with opportunities