something there

I am always i hurry, my mind is racing far ahead of time....i wanna do this, go there...in a hurry to make life meaningful and stud it with gems, i repeat, gems of wisdom and experience....i think i live my life in the world of fantasies that is so often described in books.....when i was young it had more spirit in it, more mystery more magic...nowadays its become something more of a pride and prejudice kind of thing.....lulll.....seem to be waiting for that perfect man with spotless behaviour to bump into me....funny, caring, well dressed, treats me like a princess, does-the-all-too-cliche arty stuff.... man i am a dead dog really!!! In this rush i seem to forget to savour those tiny little moments i spend with friends

The other day i was playing poker over a drinks with girly pals.....must say after a long time i was actually winning some bloody virtual money!! with the otherwise gentle ladies screaming bbitttccchhh!!! i had a good laugh....never thought about for a minute later.....my school buddy...came home on a lonely weekend recently...we did simple things...made kanji and payar (rice porridge), watched a movie, did a few initial tutoring of photography, tried to see the art in my artless pictures hardly in focus, talked about the old days, read autographs from school......then as a result of pure chance we end up on a full moon beach with doughnuts in our hand and waves lapping at our feet discussing the reflection of moonlight on the ebbing waves......what a perfect peaceful day.....life is treating me well....i have good friends...people i can call to brag and crib....but still i seem to be searching for that something......sometihng exciting....something that will blow my mind......


but maybe and that i refuse to convince myself..... is what life is all about.....these little some things.....little happiness....and really what i am looking for is not an alll too exciting relationship....but a man with whom i can just walk on an empty beach and bounce off the weirdest ideas ever.....someone who smiles-the-all-too-knowing smile at my faux pas...yea thats life!!! but when will i ever convince my silly boggled mind..