We all create our realities....we believe in a lot of things consciously, subconsciously, unconsciously...its important for our existence....we tell ourselves partial lies to keep us safe....i could liken it to a placenta of our own....we hope these are truths....we put faith in all these truths...its not hypocrisy...its sheer necessity of existence...some of us believe in god (not being politically incorrect, it could be true but this is something one can never prove, which is why it is premised on faith, so believers don't make me a martyr)...everybody has a long list of such belief systems....it can be a social, racial, religious belief system....or personal or pertaining to a group...sexuality...we believe, really believe in these systems...and believe it is truer than that of the “other” person, race, caste, religion, continent.....we kill in the name of our beliefs, which are more or less unfounded...if we disaggregate everything we believe in as true or false, it might fall apart...but one of the essential necessities of sanity is this stronghold on “reality”...the moment you loose grip...you are in the excluded group...outside social understanding...insanity...
Society itself , in my view, can be seen as continuous concentric circles tending closely towards a centre....only, i think, there is no centre but a tendency towards it....its like Dante's Hell....its the circle of exclusion....these circles exclude-include differentially according to time and paradigms...what was once true might now seem irrational...we do not understand why some tribes headhunt....so once homosexuals were severely persecuted....as an element beyond biological being...as a vagary of God's creation...today some parts of the circle have become elastic enough to accept it...no fully though...
Trans-sexual still remain oddly outside some circle as another vagary...forced into prostitution...forced to live behind the curtains of a social stage, as passing actors that provide some sort of amazement in the gaze of viewers....they generate often an emotion of unawareness...fear, hatred, amusement, sympathy....not nonchalance....so this concentric circle i am talking is a theoretical model of the world...it applies similarly to individuals as to societies...you know why i wrote theoretical model, right?...if you don't...it means its a sweeping categorisation, stereotyping...black and white, singular description of the world...something a post-modernist would cringe at...but still essential as a tool for understanding...we live and thrive and think only on such stereotypes...so it doesn't essentially matter!!
Anyway....so beliefs...our unfounded truths on life runs deep into our sense of existence as well as our notions of the next minute...we never doubt them for a minute...like we never question the existence of body...or the truth of what we see...most of us, though prioritise our vision, rely on hearsay.....we live on our perception of others...which is why we can never fully predict another person's behaviour...cause we live on perception (sorry to all the scientists, i don't come from that school)...we can always predict wrong....at seventy, we can predict our spouse wrong....which is why serendipity and surprises are old terms for us....ok...all this talk is to point out that i closely reached the fringes of insanity in the past few days....my notions, my truth were continuously breaking down in front of me....my perception of me was uncannily confirmed...my hopes of untruth were crashed....the four walls around were slowly closing in on me...it is a sense of claustrophobia....when nothing is right...nobody is right....i gave too many people close to me various doses of shocks...my elderly father was scared by the prospects of me suddenly quitting job...it affected his calm...my friends were appalled by my decision to meet a psychotherapist ( no i don't believe in them either, but its fun to pay and talk to a stranger)...i was appalled by behaviour...i was out of my control...i feared dire consequences...of exclusion...of eternal insanity....which i know, have been predicted in my future...then all of a sudden its calm ocean again....and i tried once again to look inside...to see what caused this change...multiplicity of events....but also something as simple as a decision...my untrue truths are once again confirmed...normality is restored....i can now sleep happily in my placenta of beliefs!
Society itself , in my view, can be seen as continuous concentric circles tending closely towards a centre....only, i think, there is no centre but a tendency towards it....its like Dante's Hell....its the circle of exclusion....these circles exclude-include differentially according to time and paradigms...what was once true might now seem irrational...we do not understand why some tribes headhunt....so once homosexuals were severely persecuted....as an element beyond biological being...as a vagary of God's creation...today some parts of the circle have become elastic enough to accept it...no fully though...
Trans-sexual still remain oddly outside some circle as another vagary...forced into prostitution...forced to live behind the curtains of a social stage, as passing actors that provide some sort of amazement in the gaze of viewers....they generate often an emotion of unawareness...fear, hatred, amusement, sympathy....not nonchalance....so this concentric circle i am talking is a theoretical model of the world...it applies similarly to individuals as to societies...you know why i wrote theoretical model, right?...if you don't...it means its a sweeping categorisation, stereotyping...black and white, singular description of the world...something a post-modernist would cringe at...but still essential as a tool for understanding...we live and thrive and think only on such stereotypes...so it doesn't essentially matter!!
Anyway....so beliefs...our unfounded truths on life runs deep into our sense of existence as well as our notions of the next minute...we never doubt them for a minute...like we never question the existence of body...or the truth of what we see...most of us, though prioritise our vision, rely on hearsay.....we live on our perception of others...which is why we can never fully predict another person's behaviour...cause we live on perception (sorry to all the scientists, i don't come from that school)...we can always predict wrong....at seventy, we can predict our spouse wrong....which is why serendipity and surprises are old terms for us....ok...all this talk is to point out that i closely reached the fringes of insanity in the past few days....my notions, my truth were continuously breaking down in front of me....my perception of me was uncannily confirmed...my hopes of untruth were crashed....the four walls around were slowly closing in on me...it is a sense of claustrophobia....when nothing is right...nobody is right....i gave too many people close to me various doses of shocks...my elderly father was scared by the prospects of me suddenly quitting job...it affected his calm...my friends were appalled by my decision to meet a psychotherapist ( no i don't believe in them either, but its fun to pay and talk to a stranger)...i was appalled by behaviour...i was out of my control...i feared dire consequences...of exclusion...of eternal insanity....which i know, have been predicted in my future...then all of a sudden its calm ocean again....and i tried once again to look inside...to see what caused this change...multiplicity of events....but also something as simple as a decision...my untrue truths are once again confirmed...normality is restored....i can now sleep happily in my placenta of beliefs!
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