the known

This is the longest break I have taken from this page. Can't really say I was in hibernation or reflecting on the different modalities my page should take...rather, I was stuck trying to deal with the eventualities of my life and the everydayness of my existence...simply speaking, I have been going mad at work...if there is a moment I wait for, it is one I spend in the company of people I agree with. But as always people I agree with say the same things I say....there is a grandeur in the familiar but there is also a sense of redundancy....of a continuity that distances into terrible discontinuity....to the point where one wonders what effect all this dialogue has...knowing very well unconsciously that all dialogues ultimately have this effect....in spite of this one can't help wondering about the repetition...the realisation dawns that interaction is better with things inanimate....no, not inanimate...but things that do not speak one's language....the interaction is more poignant and effective...the interaction with a book, with a place, with a photograph bring out concrete experiences that simi-lingual animate objects don't bring...root cause is probably as simple as escapism....escaping having to tolerate one more like oneself


After having gone into detail on the importance of the inanimate and recourse in its arms...one still looks for the familiar....yes it is severe contradiction that I am suggesting.....switching between the comfort of one and at once claiming a dislike for it......middle path one knows is knowing the unknown animate ( i didn't take my logic classes for nothing!) but comfort zones prevent the interaction....so here I am planning on taking swimming classes, guitar classes, music classes.....trips to place...of buying a camera....to avoid the known.


Articulation is becoming problematic day by day...I have no thoughts except the ones required for execution of tasks that are remunerated at the end of the month...at the same time I am becoming precisely articulate at that task....if I am asked for a reason I would say I am receding...but I know I am not...I am pretending to...if I recede, with me recedes this blog and all in it...for the blog is nothing but me.....no, a slice of me...


Once again I climbed the steps of that familiar staircase in that familiar city looking for the known....luck might have that the known sensed my arrival and made itself present....a hour of the known was like meeting your soul in hell...if hell be a place of vice pleasures...once again I indulged in the act of love, of self-love (philautia).....I couldn't let go of it...the pleasure was intense...but pleasure is overrated....and like all vice pleasures this slipped once again to redundancy...still when it slipped out my hands I felt nothing but sharp pain...a pain of having lost the known self again...that my friend, hopefully describes the contradictions running through this piece....this pleasure visited me again not so long after the first...the pleasure was intense, so was the loss....but now it worries me if I will lose myself to this pleasure or to this being....